In Which Stripping can land you a boyfriend
by broadwayKarkat69
Summary: Okay sigh... based off an rp i had. IDK if imma continue this. Probs not. Meh. It sucks kinda, so ur warned };]


Dave was working the late shift at a local strip club, an abnormal thing for him. He usually worked the shift before that, so that he can have time to sleep before his next job. He glanced around, noticing that he didn't really know many of the people, other than a few regulars who liked to blow their money at the joint. He noticed a loner seated at the bar, and he decided to walk over to him. He was bored, and didn't really have anything to do, as it was still about ten or fifteen minutes before his dance.

"Hey there, cowboy." He smiled slightly at the nerdy looking out-of-place boy. He was actually very cute, though he'd never admit that he thought that.

"Uh... hey." He scrunched his nose shyly, and directed his gaze back down into his drink. He was obviously not used to this scene, at all.

"Why are you over here all by yourself?" Dave asked in a velvety smooth voice, leaning his back against the bar and looking around a bit.

He shrugged, feeling the embarrassment and awkward heat rising in his cheeks. "I dunno... I didn't really have anyone to go with...?"

"Oh, well that's understandable." Dave glanced sideways at him, arching an eyebrow. "You don't look so good. My name's Dave. You can jus' holler if you need anything, dear. You look really nervous. You new here?"

He nodded. "Yeah... first time. Actually, I lost a bet with an internet friend, and i have to spend my whole night here. My friends want to make me 'comfortable with my sexuality.'" He made finger quotes, rolling his eyes. "They're so obnoxious sometimes. It's a little bit annoying." He smiled slightly, revealing a bright bucked tooth, poking out from under his lip.

"Oh. They sound like it." He said with a short nod. "Well, like I said. If you need anything, I gotcha." One of the other workers called for Dave, and he looked towards them. "Shit, I think it's my turn. Be right back." He said, taking quick steps to them.

"Uh... bye!" The raven haired boy called after him, his face reddening a bit more. That boy seemed a bit familiar. He shrugged, and returned to his drink.  
>A few minutes later, the guy on the loud speaker turned the music down a bit, announcing the next act to be a fine young gentleman by the name of... Dave Strider. The same cute guy from before walked out onto the stage, beginning a rather seductive routine with the pole. The boy stared for a moment as Dave walked out, and blushed immensely, looking back to his drink. He definitely did NOT think this was a good idea AT ALL. In fact, he was SO going to text Rose right now and- wait. Dave Strider. Could it really be...? But, there was no way. TurntechGodhead could absolutely NOT be a stripper. There was no way.<p>

After the routine ended, Dave turned and pranced off the stage. One of the other workers seemed to have magically acquired a smuppet, and was grinning sideways at you. Dave jumped back, a totally masculine shriek escaping from him.

"HOLY SHIT DUDE NOT COOL NO BACK THE FUCK UP!" His eyes flew wide, and his hands were instantly raised to protect himself. Although the boy could not see behind stage, he had heard the screech. He looked up slyly, and grinned. If this WAS the right Strider, which he was almost certain of now, his plan was turning out perfect.

Dave ran out, jumping off the stage, and landing past the crowd, turning quickly. He was met with the sight of all the stage handlers holding a different coloured smuppet with them, laughing softly. A look of absolute horror took over his face. "NO!"

The nerdy boy giggled softly, and then slowly took out his phone. He sent a short message to Dave that read "Nice seeing you tonight! :B"

Dave looked into his boot, feeling a vibration. He ran over to the bar, hiding under the thing so they couldn't taunt him with the shitty puppets. He opened pesterchum, read the message, and arched a confused eyebrow. "The fuck are you talking about, egderp?"

He covered his mouth quickly so that Dave couldn't hear him giggling, and responded. "Well, I won't specify, but you dance very well!"  
>"I uh... excuse me?" He sent that, then his eyes widened a bit. "Wait. Shit." He stood up, looking around for glasses and big teeth.<br>John grinned, because yes, it was John, and bent his head. "no use, davey! i'm wearing contacts tonight, hehe!"

"Dude i swear to god if youre where i think you are im gonna tackle you." Dave glared at the screen, embarrassment rising and colouring his cheeks.  
>"But Dave, what if it's not me? Then you will have tackled another raven haired buck toothed nerd wearing contacts. In fact, I may not even be in here anymore! I could be watching from out a window!" He snickered again, biting down on his fingers to shut himself up.<p>

"John. Fucking. Egbert." He sent, looking around, then jumping over the side of the bar. He headed in the general direction he thought he had seen John.  
>About five minutes later, he was there. His face was flushed, and his shades were crooked. "Please fucking god tell me you're Egbert."<p>

He glanced up, and grinned. "How many people didja ask, Davey?"

Daves face turned an even brighter shade of red, and he sat down heavily at the bar. "Oh my god."

"So I take it that it was a lot?" He laughed, shaking his head. "Gosh, I didn't know you were a stripper! That's so funny! I'm totally telling Rose and Jade."

"Oh god, please don't." Dave said, crossing his arms tightly.

"I'm so gonna do it. Hehe. Rose is gonna tease you forever." He grinned wider, reaching up to adjust his glasses before remembering they weren't there.

Dave sighed irritably, running a hand through his platinum blonde locks. "I will body slam you. Right here."

"Oh, please don't. You don't want the nice puppet-bearing men to notice you, do you?" He smirked, the sparkle in his eyes confirming the suspicion that he was, in fact, the asshole that had set them up to it.

"Screw em. I can run pretty fast." He said, shrugging softly. "I'll just throw you at them."

He squeaked a little, and shook his head. "Dave, no!"

He chuckled a bit, ruffling Johns hair. "Alright, alright." John frowned at him, his teeth poking out adorably from under his lip.

"That's not funny, Dave."

"It's very funny, actually." He said with a wide grin.


End file.
